the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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