This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
