Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
