Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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