apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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