Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
