I think i peed on brittanys purse
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
