glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there's paper in my vomit.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
