never play flip cup with pint glasses
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
