Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
