dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
