hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
