I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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