Me. At least after what I've been through.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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