If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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