Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
