a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
