The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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