I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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