no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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