You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have aggressive nipples.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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