And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
