I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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