When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
