Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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