Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just puked most of my soul out..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
