haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
