Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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