Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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