porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
