Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
