There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
