I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
