I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Randomize
