she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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