I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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