If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
