Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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