what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
