dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
