I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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