so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
