Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
vagina is talking i cant
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
