Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
