that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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