The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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