Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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