Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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