Someone shit on the floor
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
