"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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