She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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